Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By

L!
Thu Dec 23, 2004 at 12:47:11 am EST
Subject
A Chad & Ronnie Christahannaqwanza Spectacular, Part 1: Seeking Susan, but getting a Jerome.
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It's December 20th & It's snowing.

In Parrodipolis, at a former vacant lot that now serves as Joyous Leon's Tree lot, Lenny is working at his Uncle Leon, like he does every year. He doesn't like being there, it's cold & he doesn't get paid anything other then all the Hot Chocolate he can drink & all the Candy Canes he wants.

Lenny wonders the lot looking for customers. He sees families with tons of kids, couples & other assorted people. Lenny then sees a few rows away something odd. Among the trees is a red ball of fuzz, it's moving towards him. Lenny also hears the sounds of an Accordion being played & some one calling out for a "Susan".

Then, Lenny sees two men, He can't believe what he's seeing.

One looks a slightly disheveled. He is wearing a puffy coat over a flannel shirt; neither are buttoned up & the flannel shirt isn't tucked in, the flannel shirt bigger then the coat. From under the flannel shirt, Lenny could barely see a dark grey t-shirt with the words 'Inflatable Monkey' on it & the picture of a monkey-like balloon on it. The man is also wearing a pair of jeans & blue Converse High Tops. The shoes & the lower part of his pants are wet from the snow. His dark brown hair looks not to have combed in awhile, the man was not wearing the hood. He has light sky blue eyes and he wears a well-used pair of horned rimmed glasses. He is carrying an Accordion.

His friend, the one calling out for Susan, his clothing follows a theme, red & yellow. He has a big red possible Afro with a yellow comb stuck in it. He is wearing a yellow trench coat, a yellow shirt & red denim jeans. Also, he has yellow striped socks & red oversized shoes on. He wears glasses are too big for his head. Lenny also notices that he has some Jellybeans up his nose.

"Hello." Lenny says, hesitantly "May I help you find something?"

"Yes, my fine seller of trees. We are looking for Susan!" The one with the afro said.

Now, Lenny has a sister named Susan. He knows she's into some kinky stuff. But, he didn't know she was this kinky. "I'm sorry to tell you my sister ain't here. She might be in tomorrow."

"We care not for your sister. We are looking for the sacred Holland Day's Bush, Susan!" The one with the afro said. His friend nodded in agreement.

Lenny turns to a tree & asks if that one was Susan. The Man with the Afro said no. Lenny went around to with them to many trees asking the same question "Is this Susan?" & always the answer was no.

Now, Lenny is a normally patient man, but this dynamic duo was grating on his nerves. He's cold, He's not getting paid, the hot chocolate taste like Leon's dog took a piss in it (and might of), so he doesn't have time to deal with these kooks.

Then, the one with the accordion squealed with excitement. He ran over to a telephone pole, he put down his accordion & hugged the telephone pole.

"It looks like your friend found Susan." Lenny joked.

"Yes. Yes, he had. How much is she?"

"What? You can't take that telephone pole, it's city property." Lenny almost yelled at the man.

"It's on your lot, so it must be for sell!" he said.

"It's not my lot, it's my uncle's & I don't think he would sell you the pole, either."

"Ok. How about that Jerome over there?" The man with the afro said as he pointed to one of the wooded coat racks Lenny's Uncle Charlie makes (He has his brother sell them & they split the profits).

"Yes, that is for sell. It's 20 bucks."

"We'll take it." He said to Lenny. Then, turned to his friend. "Hey, Chad!"

His friend ran over.

"Susan is not for sell. The city owns her, but we are getting Jerome!"

This made the accordion wearing Chad very happy. He ran over & picked up the coat rack, raised it above his head & screamed in excitement.

"Here you go, my fine man." The man with the Afro said. He gave Lenny 20 dollars, all in quarters. "Good Christahannaqwanza to you & a happy new year to you & yours."

Then, he walked away. He followed his friend who ran off with the coat rack he was waving it above his head & he yelled at a few people "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" After he said that, he laughed. Then, ran over to some more people did the same thing. The excitement was understandable, Christahannaqwanza is his favorite holiday next to Shave the Whales day.

As soon as Lenny knew they had left, Lenny went to find his Uncle Leon to tell him he quit. He was keeping the quarters as severance.
------------

Later, at the apartment of Chad & Ronnie, they were decorating Jerome with random stuff from around the apartment. Ronnie has duct tapped some branches he "found" to Jerome. Chad was wrapping Jerome in lights, they were red & yellow (Ronnie bought them).

Once finished, They stood back looking at Jerome. They were happy & did a dance, a mummer's dance to be exact. Just then, that day's mail arrived. Ronnie picked it up.

"Occupant, Occupant, Occupant, Occupant, Occupant, Occupant, Chad's Accordion Players magazine. Occupant, Occupant, Occupant, Occupant. Yeah!" Ronnie said. He found mostly bills & other junk mail. One piece caught his eye.

Chad turned his attention to Ronnie.

"We got an invite to a party!" Ronnie said as he showed Chad the invite. They high fived each other. Ronnie read the invite:


You are cordially invited to keep
The Feast of Christmas
at the home of
Sir Mumphrey Wilton KBE GCB GCMG CVCO FRS
Wilton Manor
Wendel’s Hallow
Shropshire, England

RSVP.



"Then, the sender wrote please attend. Isn't that nice? Oh, Oops! This isn't for us. I just looked at the envelope & It's for some guy named Dominic Clancy." Ronnie said. Chad got sad.

"Then, I guess were going to have to return the invite to the sender." Ronnie said. Looked at the return address, it was an address in England.

"England here we come!"

------------------

To be continued after I write the next part in response to Ian's Untold Tales # 200!


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